One More Bite

The WacoFork Blog

I guess you put us in our place,

September 30, 2011 | Chad Conine | Around Town
I guess you put us in our place,
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Hey, Waco, let's just file this one in the category of any press is good press.

Last week, our city landed on's list of "The 10 College Towns with the Worst Food."

It's a tough one to take, especially for me, since I pretty much base my self worth on websites like's appraisal of things. However, in the interest of us all having some perspective on how much we suck, I'm going to continue writing about this woeful blemish.

We can't escape it, simply because of its scientific and discerning nature. Having read the article, I have to assume it could have also been published in an academic journal. Nonetheless, here are the strengths of its research: 1) reviewed a manageable sampling size because there really aren't that many college towns. 2) claimed it "scoured small-town newspapers, blogs, websites, free weeklies, chat boards and student newspapers for data," which must be the best way to determine a town's quality of restaurants. And we know they were thorough because 3) they cited one of my blogs.

In fact, so adequately summed up Waco's food scene that I can easily quote the entire Waco segment.

"Waco is so bereft of good restaurants that a local food blogger actually praised the food at Chili's and Red Lobster. Options are so scarce that students routinely drive two hours to Dallas to visit the Cheesecake Factory."

They, quite impressively, saw the truth through a whole lot of BS. Not only was able to overlook all the blogs I've written about local restaurants, they astutely ignored the "In Defense of Chains" point-counterpoint blog in which guest blogger Cameron Weed supposedly thrashed me with his high standards and cold logic. Furthermore, whenever I drive to Dallas for dinner, I go straight for the (insert four-syllable swear word) Cheesecake Factory.


I'm so distraught. All I can think to do is to drown my sorrow in food. Even at that, though, I'm so beside myself that I can't decide whether I should go for a Gut Pak at Vitek's or chicken fried rice at Clay Pot or chicken fried steak at George's or an Oso burrito at El Crucero or a black bean burrito at Food For Thought or cupcakes at The Olive Branch or étouffée at Buzzard Billy's or a burger at Health Camp or a burger at DUBL-R or a burger at Kitok or a burger at Beatnix or a burger at Cafe Homestead or curry at Bangkok Royal or fish tacos at Sam's on the Square or a hot dog at Metro or pizza at Baris or pizza at Poppa Rollo's or pizza at Shorty's Pizza Shack.

I could go on like this.

So, thank you, Clearly, we need help.