The secret menu is real.
An abundance of articles can be found floating around the Internet claiming (insert favorite restaurant here) has a secret menu. Since everything you read on the World Wide Web should be approached with suspicion, one often wonders if any of this secret menu talk is real. Wanting to know the truth, I decided to visit some of the most popular places in Waco to see if a regular customer could really order something as crazy sounding as a “Quesarito,” and I was not disappointed.
Before I divulge all of my delicious research for all to see, a disclaimer: when verifying secret menu items, I was looking to see if there was an actual button for the employee to press that would get me the item I wanted. I did this so I could confirm that there was a secret menu. Otherwise, if there were no such button, the item would merely be a modified version of something on the normal menu, and it is no secret that most places let you modify their food to suit a personal taste.
Out of all the restaurants that I investigated, none were as surprising as Torchy’s I sat at the bar and asked the bartender if they had a secret menu. He left rather mysteriously and returned with a dinky little piece of white paper that had been laminated, which read, “Secret Menu.” On it were the following items:
• Trailer Park Hillbilly Style
Fried chicken, chorizo, chopped bacon, green chilies, green chile queso, shredded cheese, pico de gallo, poblano ranch on the side.
• Jack of Clubs
A fried egg, potatoes, black beans, crisp corn tortilla strips, shredded chess, cilantro, sour cream and diablo.
• Ace of Spades
A jalapeño sausage link, grilled brisket, a fried egg, green chile queso, cilantro, cotija cheese, sour cream and diablo. Served on a flour tortilla.
• Mad Cow
Fajita Beef, black beans, grilled corn, jack cheese, creamy chipotle and cilantro. Served on a flour tortilla.
• The Hipster
Panko fried tuna, green chilies, chopped bacon, black bean relish, cotija cheese, avocado sauce, cilantro and a wedge of lime.
• The Matador
Chopped brisket, grilled jalapeños, pickled onions, jack cheese, avocado, sour cream and cilantro. Served with tomatillo on a crisp corn tortilla inside a flour tortilla.
• Green Chile Pork Missionary Style
Green chile pork, pickled onions, guacamole, jack cheese, cilantro, and creamy chipotle on a crisp corn tortilla inside a flour tortilla.
Smashburger’s Sin City
The Sin City Smashburger is a hefty burger that’s crawling with grilled and fried onions, topped with bacon, and accented with a fried egg. So good, it’s bad.
Johnny Carino’s Timballo
Ever wanted to try a supreme pizza pasta? Carino’s has got your back. The Timballo is a bed of Spaghetti tossed in tomato sauce, green bell peppers, black olives, sausage, and topped with melted mozzarella. To get it truly supreme style, ask for it with pepperonis, onions, and mushrooms.
Chipotle’s Quesarrito
All right, this one barely made the list, but for good reason. At a restaurant that is all about bending to their customers needs and wants, the Quesarrito is just that: everything you could ever need or ever want. Essentially the Quesarrito is whatever burrito you want it to be, but with a cheese quesadilla as the wrap instead of just a normal flour tortilla. It’ll cost about two extra dollars, but it’s worth it. With that said however, when ordering a Quesarrito, please make sure the restaurant isn’t busy. A Quesarrito can really hold up the line.
Dichotomy’s Sexy Coffee
For this item, you’ll need head bartender Andrew Anderson present, as he is currently the only bartender at Dichotomy who knows how to make it. Sexy Coffee is brandy mixed with a house coffee liqueur, bitters, espresso, orange liqueur, water, and honey syrup. The drink is then lit on fire, Blue Blazer style, and juggled from cup to cup for a full minute. It is served hot (obviously) and will surely put hair on your chest, or burn it off if you get too close.
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