Let’s face it, when you think of coffee shops, you think of basketball. Am I right? I’m right. I think it’s pretty obvious that the best way to definitively rank the caffeine citadels of Waco is to pair them with your 2014 NBA Finals Champions, the San Antonio Spurs. Go Spurs Go. Because like the Spurs, when you go to Starbucks, no matter where you are, you know what you’re getting. That consistency is key. That consistency wins fives championships. Before that though, some respect does need to be given to both Common Grounds and Dichotomy.
Common Grounds - LeBron James
I think this one is an obvious choice. Common Grounds may have had its ups and downs in the past, but it has now solidified itself as a true Hall of Famer. The excitement is there. The skill level is there (and growing every year). The desire to be a team player is there (with it’s new shipping container expansion into downtown, CG has told Wacoans that it’s for all, not just Baylor). In Northeast Waco, nothing is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have. CG is always ready to accept the challenge. CG has made Waco its home.
Dichotomy - Kevin Durant
We all knew CG would be the LeBron of coffee shops in Waco, but let’s be real; Dichotomy won the MVP this past year. Dichotomy has taken downtown Waco and led it to a resurgence. Downtown was in uncharted territory and much like what KD did for OKC, Dichotomy has made it a real and lasting threat. Dichotomy is here to stay and we should all be excited about what it means for coffee shops in Waco.
But now for what you’ve all been waiting for. Announcing your 2014 Definitive Ranking of Starbucks in Waco:
The Big Three
Wooded Acres - Tim Duncan
The Big Fundamental. This place has it all but isn’t flashy about it. The drive-through may take a while and have a frustrating exit (curb check), but you can always count on them to follow through and get you where you need to go. The inside offers comfy chairs, a high bar, and traditional chairs and tables. Whether you’re reading a book or writing an article, you can find a place. And when you see that there’s spacious outside seating for your prayer group, your eyes will pop open in glee like the big man himself (Duncan… not God… I get that can be confusing). It’s a Slam Duncan.
Central Texas Marketplace - Manu Ginobili
Getting things done for movers and shakers. Obi-Wan Ginobili may be balding, but he’s far from old. Central Texas Marketplace offers a quick stop for those dealing with a stressful day of shopping. When you’re posting up between Old Navy, Marshalls, and Kohl’s and you see an opening at Cabela’s, you know you can count on Starbucks to land that perfect, between the legs pass so you can make an easy layup with your grande, iced, non-fat, extra shot, caramel macchiato with extra drizzle. It’s a no-brainer that this place is in your starting line-up and that even if it has a stress fracture in its drive-through, it will play through and win you a championship.
Hewitt - Tony Parker
Hewitt is like the Paris of McClennan County. This may be my favorite Starbucks to retreat to when I am tired of the hum drum of Wooded Acres or CTM. There’s a little bit of flash in this place, but not so much that it would draw attention away from its teammates. There may not be a lot of indoor seating, but who needs to sit these days? There are championships to win! And when it’s early in the morning and you just need to make it to your office at the Baylor Scott & White Hillcrest Medical Center and even out the score, you know you can count on this Starbucks to fearlessly drive the lane and give you some momentum for that long day ahead.
The Bench or The Rest of the Team
Baylor University Library (RIP garage mahal) - Kawhi Leonard
Definitely the MVP of this year’s Finals, the Baylor Starbucks may seem like a new and exciting thing, but for those of us who know, Starbucks and Baylor have been friends for some time. It may have had some growing to do in his first few years out, but this quiet competitor knows who it is and where it’s going. The time it spent in the Garage Mahal was not wasted and that’s how this Starbucks, upon its move into a full-time starting position in the library earned its Finals MVP.
Bellmead - Patty Mills
Solid player. This team member is mostly frequented by I-35 travelers, seeing as it’s right off the highway, but it is not forgotten by true fans of the franchise. We know what Bellmead has done for us. Bellmead may appear to only distract travelers from our Big Three, but don’t count this place out. It still poses a serious threat to challengers and when asked to compete at a high level, it answers that call (most of the time).
Target - Kyle Anderson
New guy. WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN?! (I know that Kyle Anderson was not a part of the 2014 championship team. Just let the joke land.)
Barnes and Noble Cafe - Boris Diaw
Okay this one really only made it on as a technicality. According to their window signs, Barnes and Noble Cafes only “proudly serve” Starbucks coffee (and technically it just has the mermaid logo). We will always be skeptical of Diaw as a Spur and we will always be skeptical of B&N Cafe as a Starbucks, but at the end of the day, the recipes are the same, the ingredients are the same, and the drink you get at the end tastes the same as the one you got from Wooded Acres. Points are points.
NOTE:
I found out this past Saturday that a new Starbucks has opened in the Baylor Science Building as a part of the Allbritton Foyer. This is exciting news and we hope the best for this new team member and what it will offer us in the coming seasons, however I did not have enough time to write up something clever about it. Just pretend it’s Tiago Splitter or something. Audience choice.
Next post: A Definitive Ranking of Whataburgers in Waco
