It's a day for reflection, whether or not this makes any metaphysical sense.
I mean, ok, it's the end of a calendar year and tomorrow begins a new calendar year, which feels significant, mostly because we assign significance to it. But where does anything actually begin or end? Tomorrow the sun will probably rise just like it did today. Like Bono sang, "Nothing changes on New Year's Day" and while I'm not sure he was singing about the kind of existential ambiguity I'm describing here, it still applies.
Nevertheless, this is what we do, and to that end, I'm all for it. In fact, today, New Year's Eve 2011, we here at WacoFork would like to serve up the top 10 zingiest lines written by you in reviews since our launch in April. We are hoping for bigger and better things in 2012. We want to be ascending. So maybe this time a year from now, I'll have a celebrity, or the users responsible for the lines read them in a spectacular video. But I suppose we gotta walk before we run.
That stated, here's your WacoFork 2011 Top 10 Plus One:
10) "I love Bush's Chicken like Gonzo loves Camilla."
9) "Perhaps I'm a sucker for chocolate shakes that are as pale as I am. Perhaps I like sitting on plastic furniture that I will inevitably stick to (this is Texas, people). Perhaps I like looking at the dozens of old pictures on the wall while I wait a good twenty minutes for a burger."
8) "I ordered the french toast with cheesy eggs and my wife got the biscuits and gravy with hash browns. … Both were so good! Just like Mama used to make...only better! (sorry Mama!)"
7) "I felt like I had found the metaphorical closet that leads to Narnia. Then, every sorostitute and her new BFF were there after every possible Crush, along with a ton of high school kids."
6) "I can't think of anything in Waco that's as ridiculously cheesy as the Pop's Four Cheese pizza here. I'm talkin' gooey, wonderful, "does this ever quit stretching out into longer strings of cheese and actually separate itself from the rest of the pizza?" kind of cheesy."
5) "There's something in the way it doesn't make me move, it's got me like no other burger."
4) "It seemed like the sort of trendy, crowded, wannabe place designed to vacuum the money out of Baylor students' pockets while serving up mediocre drinks and worse food. … I was wrong. Wrong wrong...wrong WRONG! Well, mostly."
3) "This place is full of nostalgia for me, and anyone who doesn't share that sentiment was either a) mistreated as a child or is b) severely out of touch with food that is truly awful for you."
2) "To compare them would be like comparing Baylor to Baptists or Hillcrest to a hospital. I digress."
1) "The results are, predictably, somewhat akin to teaching a hippo to tap-dance."
And the incomparable greatness of this:
"I have a bad feeling that the people who end up doing the majority of the voting for these 'best of' lists are the kinds of people who love to paint things in neutral earth tones. People who buy Volvos not for quirky Swedish turbo goodness, but because they have practically enough airbags to float the car should something whack into it. Nickelback fans. Twilight readers. Anyone who’s ever been captivated by the plot of an English-language soap opera. The people who complain about things being too spicy, too loud, too bright, too fast — too everything. In short: the people who like things to be safe, familiar and predictable."
